Building a Tribe Around Your Son
Building a Tribe Around Your Son
As a parent of a middle school boy, there are probably a few things that are always top of mind as it relates to the decisions he makes. If you’re like most, those things include making good grades, doing well in their extracurricular activities and, in general, making good life choices.
Another thing that is probably high on the list is choosing his friends wisely. There’s no question that making wise choices in who he spends time with is a crucial part of navigating the awkward and difficult middle school years.
But choosing your friends wisely goes beyond simply deciding who to hang out with. In fact, at Champion Tribes, we are convinced that our sons need more than good friends, they need a tribe.
A tribe is more than a set of friends. It’s a group that will stick together and hold each other accountable to high standards. It’s a group of both sons and fathers that are committed to encouraging and building each other up.
But a tribe doesn’t form by accident. It is not something your son will simply form on his own. A tribe is a group that has to be intentionally built, and it all starts with you — the parent.
Here are the three key reasons you need to build a tribe around your son.
1) A tribe creates a community of peers that will encourage him.
One of our co-founders, Jeff Henderson, says it best: “The people you listen to are a preview of the future you.” The peers your son surrounds himself with will have a major impact on the person he becomes. You probably have a clear idea of this when it comes to the negative effects of peer pressure, particularly in the middle and high school years. However, the positive aspect are often overlooked.
Surround yourself with people who are funny and you’re likely to start cracking better jokes. Surround yourself with movie buffs and pretty soon you’ll know more about movies than you ever did. Surround yourself with people who make wise choices, and chances are you will make wise choices as well.
Help build a tribe around your son that will not only prevent negative consequences, but will also encourage the positive ones.
2) A tribe provides the right context for other men to speak into his life.
Has your son ever told you something he heard someone say, only for you to reply, “I’ve told you that 10 times!” If that’s you, then you’re not alone. It is hard to overstate the power of adult voices beyond parents.
As you consider building a tribe, who are other men in your life that you respect? Who do you want speaking into your son’s life. A tribe of fathers and sons will give you the context to not only have other men speak into your own son’s life, it will also give you the platform to mentor other young men as well.
3) A tribe makes life as a middle schooler more fun!
It is a fact of life. Things are better when shared with others. Especially close friends and family. That’s exactly why we designed the Champion Tribes journey to be done in community… it not only provides accountability and motivation, it makes it fun as well!
However you choose to build a tribe around your son, don’t miss this key aspect. Find some type of way to make it fun. Whether it’s a “guys night” or a weekend trip, don’t miss out the crucial reality that growing and maturing as a young man need not be boring or hard work all the time. Make it fun!